Of Doom and Duty
by Shminaldi
Summary: Hounded by calamity since her birth, how can she possibly be the heroine Ferelden needs? Snapshot chapters taking place over the course of Origins. Mahariel/Alistair
1. That Old Familiar Feeling

"Well, all and all, I think that went rather well," Alistair said from behind her.

"The compromise was an unnecessary delay," Sten grunted, "killing all the beasts would have saved us time."

"Indeed," Morrigan said, "though I am not certain that would have lifted the curse. 'Twas perhaps the better path to take, in the end."

Kalindri had hoped that being amongst another Dalish tribe would bring a sense of normalcy. But she was wrong. The pangs of regret were only more intense.

Zathrien's tribe had been twisted and punished by his own folly. Just as the Sabrae had been punished by hers. Just as Tamlen had.

And now here she was: a woman saved from a death sentence by a death sentence. The last of two people who could possibly save this forsaken country and perhaps all Thedas. Creators, she never asked for this. She had never asked for anything.

"Hey." Kalindri shook from her dwelling to notice Alistair walking beside her. He reached down and took her small hand in his big one, squeezing gently. "Everything alright?" he asked with smile.

A warm tilting of his lips. That's all it was. But it was pure and sweet. She returned both gestures as best she could, but she could still feel the sadness on her face.

The shadow of worry crossed the other Grey Warden's features. Without breaking stride, he leaned over and kissed her forehead tenderly. She felt herself blush. And with the blush came something else. A mark of joy, beaming from cheek to cheek.

Somewhere behind them, Morrigan retched.


	2. Questions

Kalindri watched as Alistair talked animatedly with the Arl, smiles on both their faces. Wynne had left the room, hurrying after the healer to inquire about the state of the rebuilding Circle. It took her a moment, but Kalindri finally spied Sten through the crowd that had gathered in the hall. The dark giant stood arms crossed, likely in displeasure.

After some deft navigation, she took a place next to him. He did not acknowledge her presence.

After a few moments, she finally spoke.

"Still think it was a waste of time?"

"Every moment we tarry is a moment that could be spent fighting darkspawn," Sten growled.

"Yes, you said as much on the mountain."

The qunari sighed exasperatedly, "Why did you ask a question to which you already knew the answer."

"Because now we have someone who can muster an army to fight the banalhan."

Sten did not respond, which Kalindri believed was his way of expressing "I disagree with you, but I cannot find the words to argue." She had another question.

"What do you make of the Ashes?"

"Vashedan," he stated curtly.

At first, Kalindri merely thought this was his usual response he reserved for when she asked more than one question at a time. When Sten did not continue, she realized he was actually answering her.

"But the Arl was cured when no magic would remove the poison."

"It was simply stronger magic, nothing more."

"But Andraste—"

"This does no more confirm your religion than the dozens of useless Chanters we've encountered."

"Their."

Sten finally looked down at her, "What?"

"Their religion. I believe in the gods of my people, the Creators."

"Then why pester me about the human religion?"

Kalindri waited a moment before stepping away from the wall. "I wanted to know your opinion, Sten. You and I are not so different. Set adrift in a foreign land by our missions. Alone. It is…nice to hear harmony."

"I…," Sten stumbled over the words. "Forgive me, Warden. My outburst was unworthy."

She smiled up at him, "It is alright. I will not trouble you further."As she left his side and left the hall, Sten bowed his head. "Panahedan, basalit-an."


	3. Found

"Stay away from me, lethalan," the thing shrieked. It fled into the woods on the outskirts of camp.

"Tamlen? Tamlen, wait!" Kalindri dashed after it, as the others called after her. Could it be? It couldn't. How could it be him?

The creature sped through the thin trees, its gait haphazard. It moved awkwardly, like it couldn't decide if it was person or animal. Despite this, it was starting to outpace her. "Tamlen, please," she called.

The trees gave way to small glade. The thing ran to the middle and turned. By the bright moonlight, Kalindri could see its features more clearly than by the flickering fire at camp.

It was shriveled, a skeletal frame seemingly held together by the rags of clothes it wore. Piercing white eyes shone out of cavernous sockets in a bald head. Bony fingers extended into long sharp nails. It shivered and twitched in the middle of the glade. But there could be no doubt.

"Oh, Tamlen," she said quietly, her voice pained.

"Please! Stay away. I-I-I can hear it. The song," Tamlen whimpered. Kalindri took a tentative step towards him. "Tamlen, it's okay. We…we can help you." Alistair would help. Alistair would know what to do.

"No. No!" A shadow passed over his face. "I can't control it! I'm sorry, lethalan." Tamlen screamed and lunged at her. Unnaturally quick, he knocked her to the ground, clawed hands rose to strike.

A grey blur barreled into Tamlen, knocking him aside. There was a snarling and snapping. Teeth on flesh and Tamlen's shrieks. Kalindri rolled away, backing up and drawing Duncan's dagger. The thing looked like a Blight Wolf, but the change must've been recent, as its coat was still a patchwork of healthy grey and diseased black. Fur and black blood flew as Tamlen raked at the beast, plunging his sharp nails into its sides. But it was futile; the creature had him by the throat. Before Kalindri could even think to stop it, there was a snap and Tamlen's struggling ceased.

Her heart caught in her throat as the creature turned to her. Blood flowed from its wounds, staining the grass beneath it. Even in the light, it's eyes shone from beneath matted fur: the left green, the right blue.

"Oh, no," Kalindri choked, "oh, Creators, please no."

The wolf took several limps towards her and then collapsed with a whine. Kalindri rushed forward, "Galarel!" Its breathing was ragged and its fur matted with black blood from wounds too deep to heal. The wolf's ears perked up when it heard its name and a warm tongue gave her hand a delicate lick.

"Oh ma vhenan," she sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I did this to you. I did this. I did this." She buried her face in Galarel's neck fur, her tears mingling with his bloodied coat. She repeated the words over and over, long after the rattling breath stopped, until her voice grew hoarse.

It was some time before she heard the dull thumping of footsteps approaching. They stopped a few meters away from her.

"Why does it weep over the fallen beast?" Shale's voice rang out like an echo in a canyon.

Kalindri slowly raised her head from Galarel's body and turned to the golem. "Because I killed this one."

The golem stared. "I have seen it kill dozens of these things before and yet there was no crying. I am confused."

Kalindri wiped the tears and blood from her cheeks and told the golem of the day she was tainted. When Tamlen was lost. How, before she left, she instructed her Galarel to find Tamlen.

"I just," she said mournfully, "I didn't know. I didn't think this would happen. If anyone could find Tamlen, Galarel could. I-I just wanted him to be safe." She stared off into the distance. After a few moments, Shale trudged back into the forest without a word, likely to tell the others where she was. Where she'd broken down. Her, this pitiful excuse for a Grey Warden. Who gets everyone killed. Tamlen, Duncan, and Tamlen again, and now Galarel. Kalindri gripped at her hair, pulling it furiously. Doom was her only companion. Her own parents couldn't escape the curse upon her. No one was safe. She felt strands of hair rip away as she screamed.

There was a hollow cough from behind her. She spun and saw Shale standing there, a gathering of wood in its hands.

"I apologize," Shale shifted, "I am afraid I do not know the burial rites of its people. But the…fallen are tainted and the corruption must be burned out, should it not? I have informed the others of where it is, and that it wished to be alone. There was much mewling from the other Warden and…I—" Shale dropped the pile of branches unceremoniously. "I am…sorry. I cannot recognize the emotions it is…feeling? I saw several funerals during my time in the village, so I know what grief is. I just do not know how to stop it. I do not mean to be insensitive. At least, this time."

Kalindri had never seen the golem look sheepish before. She managed a dry, cracked laugh. "It is alright, Shale. Thank you."

As they gathered up the wood, Kalindri quietly asked, "Could you not tell the others about this?"

Shale's luminous eyes stared at her. "As you wish."

It was only after the fire had been lit and the prayers were spoken that Kalindri realized what the golem had said.


End file.
